AS PART OF TheJournal.ie’s weekly Family Magazine, we wanted to create a space for parents to share their views. A place where mums and dads could share their experiences, lessons learned, and even mistakes along the way.
This week, we asked our panel to share the clashes and conflicts that arise between them and their co-parent, if they have one.
What’s one parenting issue you and your partner disagree on?
Here’s what they had to say…
Top L-R: Olly Keegan, Alan Dooley, Denise, Ken Hyland. Middle L-R: Ríona Flood, Ross Boxshall, Marta Lisiecka, Denise Cumiskey. Bottom L-R: Kait Quinn, Susannah O’Brien, Derek McInerney, Suzie Kelly
My toddler’s bedtime: As a single parent, I feel that people think that they are even more entitled to criticise your decisions. The main issue is my three year old’s bedtime. She doesn’t go to bed ‘til around midnight as she never sleeps. She has been like this since she was born, and five to six hours a night is her norm. My friends and family love to comment on it.
- Denise Cumiskey
Whether to baptise the kids: When Daniel was born, Karen wanted to have him baptised as a Catholic, whilst I didn’t. I didn’t see the point if we were not going to bring the kids to mass and whatnot. Arguments ensued and my own mum got involved. Eventually I conceded. Not because I was convinced by argument or reason, but because it was an unwinnable situation. When my mother and my wife join forces no one can stand before them.
- Ken Hyland
How much to rely on the parenting books: I’m more likely to read, research and ask around than my partner, who is a bit more laid back and likely to go with his gut. We’ve both had to flex a bit on issues but typically seem to see eye to eye. It helps that Darragh has indulged me and generally been willing to go along with me!
- Kait Strickland
When our son should get his own room: The only issue we didn’t completely agree on was at what stage Tymek should move out of our bedroom into his own room. I wasn’t rushing him out at all…
- Marta Lisiecka
Which is the right parenting style: We knew before we had children that we had very different attitudes towards parenting because we discussed it a lot. We used to joke and say we’d have twins and take one child each. Be careful what you joke about, because we ended up with twins and two more children. Thankfully we are always able to resolve things through compromise.
- Ross Boxshall
Whether to use gentle discipline: In the beginning, I was a big fan of gentle discipline parenting and my partner didn’t agree with me on that. But over time, she read various things and we discussed aspects of it and found a gentle parenting style that suited us.
- Olly Keegan
When to worry about the kids, and when to just let go: My husband is the stereotypical protective father type, worrying about the kids’ safety when they are playing in the garden or when we’re out and about. He is the helicopter parent and I am more inclined to sit back a bit and let them run ahead. It’s not source of contention between us, just something we approach differently.
- Susannah O’Brien
Whether our own parents got it right or not: Inevitably, as you become a first time parent, you look at your own upbringing and look at things your parents did that you liked and things you did not like. Our approaches were been somewhat different, but my wife and I evolved a united approach, always trying to ensure we didn’t undermine one other’s authority in front of the kids. It has been a journey of disagreement towards unity.
- Alan Dooley
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